On my way to training

On my way to training yesterday by the underground I accidentally glimpsed over a book my neighbourgh was reading – some kind of a self-hel-psychology-book. It said:
“Kiltin ihmisen tunne-elämä ei yleensä ole sen toimivampaa kuin hänen tahtonsakaan”. On the same page, it told me that ‘nice&good’ people don’t have properly developed strength of will and their emotions are not really emotions but just some weird reflections of their surroundings.
Left me thinking for some time.
Thinking is what I’ve been doing lately – whenever I have the time from preparing powerpoint files for my boss and worrying about getting the projects done by Dec 20th. Thinking of things like who am I, and what am I doing. I look at my hands and sometimes they seem like hands of someone else. Why am I doing whatever I am doing… The elation of the defence (Eximia! They are saying I would have otherwise got magna but the defence was so brilliant they decided to raise the grade … I guess all the bluffing was worth it, as they said I had a self-confident smile on my face for two hours, like I would know everything and even if did not, I would not care…) has slightly faded, and the more I think of the ‘speech’ my boss gave me at the dinner (as a thank you for the speech I gave, where I completly threw away all thoughts of ‘payback’), the more certain I become that he really did not say anything good about me (except that I do good powerpoints). And, I must say – that hurts.
I met with my most dear girl friend from school on Sunday – If comparing cool professions, she has probably one of the top-10 works in this country – we discussed her recent appointment in Germany, 1300 km/h, with the local Migs. She flies a Hornet:) And, retires by age 45. Not bad, I’d say…
But, if the world sees too complicated, here’s something to concentrate on: my mother has addicted to Pönttökamera – a webcam from the home of a bird, a great tit (talitiainen!) called Elviira. She wakes up at 8.15 or so, cleans up her house, and leaves. After surviving the day out she returns around 15, puffs up her feathers and immediately falls asleep – and sleeps for 17 hours straight without moving.
Exactly what we should do as well.